Nidhi Monga
Last summer, I planned a hiking trip and did not give details to the key stakeholders — my 16-year-old and 12-year-old. Big mistake.
After a chaotic, albeit fun trip, we started our drive back home, when my 12 years old said “Can we do difficult hikes next time? These were fun but not that exciting!”
To that my 16 years old said “And can we not have activities at 9 AM? This is not school. I want to sleep late!”
And just like that, we stumbled upon a retrospective.
They didn’t call it that — but the process was the same:
What went well? …..saw a Bear?
What did not go well?
What can we improve?
And that’s really all a retrospective is: taking a pause to figure out what worked, what didn’t, and what you’ll do differently moving forward.
But in the workplace, retrospectives often turn into either awkward silence or therapy sessions with no action items. So how do you make sure your retrospective isn’t just a formality, but a true mechanism for team growth?
Here’s how to run an effective one — without needing a teenager to call you out.
1. Set the Tone: Safe and action oriented
Before diving into what didn’t go well, it’s essential to set the right tone. A retrospective should be a blame-free zone—not a place for finger-pointing. If people feel like they’re being judged, they’ll hold back. And that means missed opportunities to improve.
Let your team know upfront: this is about improving the process, not calling out individuals. Make it clear that the session won’t be recorded. You want open, honest feedback—not guarded responses.
Encourage reflection by creating a space where people can speak freely, even if it’s uncomfortable. Let them know it’s okay to say “this wasn’t great,” or “we could’ve done that better”—without fear of blame. Normalize learning over perfection.
👉 Tip: Use a check-in question like “What’s one word to describe how you felt about this sprint?” to break the ice.
2. Look for “why” not just “what”
It’s easy to list out what happened:
“QA took longer.”
“Stories spilled over.”
“We had too many meetings.”
But if you stop at the what, you’ll keep seeing the same patterns. The real magic happens when you dig into the why.
Ask questions like:
- “Why did QA take longer than expected?”
- “What caused the story spillover?”
- “Were the meetings necessary, or just noise?”
Often, the first answer isn’t the full picture. Maybe QA was delayed because requirements changed late, or environments weren’t ready, or the definition of done wasn’t clear.
This is where real learning happens.
👉 Pro move: Try the “5 Whys” technique—start with the symptom and keep asking “why?” until you uncover the root cause.
It might look something like this:
- Why did QA take longer? → Because test cases were incomplete.
- Why were they incomplete? → Because dev didn’t clarify edge cases.
- Why weren’t edge cases clarified? → Because stories were vague.
- Why were they vague? → Because we skipped backlog refinement.
- Why did we skip refinement? → Because we were rushing to meet sprint planning
Now you’ve got something actionable.
🎯 Your goal: Get beyond surface-level issues and find the small tweaks that will have a big impact next time.
3. Focus on Improvement, Not Just Reflection
Too many retros end with:
“That was a great conversation.”
And then… nothing changes.
A retrospective isn’t just about venting or reflecting—it’s about evolving. Honest talk is valuable, but if there’s no follow-through, it slowly trains the team to disengage.
Instead, make improvement the goal.
✅ Narrow the focus: Identify 1–2 clear, achievable action items the team can own together. Don’t overload the list. Too many “to-dos” usually means nothing gets done.
✅ Make it visible: Capture those items somewhere the team sees regularly—like your sprint board or a shared tracker.
✅ Start the next retro by checking in:
- “Did we do what we said we would?”
- “Did it help?”
This builds a feedback loop and shows the team that their input leads to real change.
✅ Celebrate progress: Even small wins matter. If changing how you write stories reduced spillover, call that out. If rotating facilitation made everyone more engaged, highlight it.
By closing the loop on action items, you’re reinforcing that retros are not just talk—they’re a mechanism for continuous improvement.
🛠️ Pro tip: Document what you tried, what worked, and what didn’t. Over time, you’ll build a history of your team’s evolution—and that’s powerful.
👉 Teen logic alert: Just like my kids want a plan for a better hiking trip, your team wants to know that their feedback leads to change.
4. Vary the Format
Let’s be honest—nobody wants to do the exact same retro 20 sprints in a row.
Even the most enthusiastic teams will check out if the format feels stale.
Mixing things up keeps people engaged, invites fresh perspectives, and prevents the retro from turning into a routine box-tick.
Here are a few ways to keep it fresh:
Use a Theme
Inject some creativity to spark different kinds of conversations.
Try a Superhero Retro:
- Who saved the day?
- What kryptonite held us back?
- What superpowers do we need for next sprint?
Or a Sailboat Retro:
- What’s the wind pushing us forward?
- What anchors are slowing us down?
- Are there any hidden rocks ahead?
Themes can make the session feel lighter, more human, and surprisingly insightful.
Rotate Formats
Switch up the structure depending on your team’s mood and goals:
- Start / Stop / Continue – Great for practical, action-focused insights.
- Mad / Sad / Glad – Good for surfacing emotions and morale trends.
- 4Ls (Liked, Learned, Lacked, Longed for) – Helps teams reflect holistically.
You can also try silent retrospectives (great for introverts), or timelines where team members mark highs/lows over the sprint.
Change the Facilitator
Even swapping out the facilitator can shake up the dynamic.
Different facilitation styles lead to different insights—and gives others a chance to lead.
👉 Bonus tip: Let a team member design and run a retro once in a while.
Not only does this build engagement and a sense of ownership, but it also encourages empathy—facilitating is harder than it looks!
Try New Tools
If you’re remote or hybrid, try tools like:
- Miro or MURAL for virtual whiteboarding
- EasyRetro or MetroRetro for lightweight, focused formats
- FunRetro if you want something plug-and-play
Changing the tool can even change how people participate. Some folks are more comfortable typing thoughts than speaking them out loud.
🌀 Bottom line?
Variety keeps retrospectives interesting and insightful. A fresh format signals that this isn’t just another meeting—it’s a chance to genuinely reflect, reset, and reconnect as a team.
5. Don’t Control the Retro — Especially Not for Your Client or Team
One thing my teenagers are very good at? Sensing when I’m trying to steer the conversation to get the answer I want. The eye rolls are immediate.
It’s the same in retros.
Whether you’re running a retro with your internal team or facilitating one for a client, resist the urge to steer the conversation toward what you hope to hear—or what you think your stakeholders want to hear.
A retrospective isn’t a status update, a performance review, or a chance to justify past decisions. It’s a shared space for reflection, honesty, and collective improvement.
That means:
- Don’t shut down uncomfortable topics.
- Don’t rush past dissenting views.
- Don’t “frame” feedback to make it more palatable to leadership.
When people feel their input is being filtered, they disengage. And once trust is lost in the retrospective, it’s hard to rebuild.
Let the team own the conversation—even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy. That’s often where the most valuable insights come from.
✅ Pro move: If you’re facilitating for a client, be neutral. Be curious. Let the team speak without you trying to interpret, explain, or soften what they say. Your job is to hold the space—not steer the ship.
A retro is most powerful when everyone feels safe to speak and knows their voice won’t be overridden by hierarchy, politics, or pressure.
5. End with Appreciation
Thank your team. Give shoutouts. Celebrate small wins.
Conclusion: Don’t Overthink It
My teenagers didn’t need a meeting invite or an agenda to give me feedback on the family trip. They just needed an opportunity.
Your team doesn’t need a perfectly crafted ritual to reflect and improve. They need space, trust, and a little structure. The rest flows naturally.
And here’s the truth:
Integrating regular, honest retrospectives is far easier — and far cheaper — than fixing issues after delivery.
So next time you’re preparing for a retro, think like a teen:
- Be honest.
- Be specific.
- And make sure it actually changes what happens next time.
(And maybe let them plan.)
If you’re looking for help facilitating meaningful retrospectives — whether for your internal teams or cross-functional project partners — we’re happy to support. Let’s create space for real improvement, together. Call or visit www.asinpa.com today for more information.
🔗 References & Further Reading
- Atlassian: How to Run a Retrospective
A practical guide from the makers of Jira, with formats, facilitation tips, and templates.
👉 https://www.atlassian.com/team-playbook/plays/retrospective - Scrum.org: The Sprint Retrospective
Official explanation of the retrospective event within the Scrum framework.
👉 The Sprint Retrospective | Scrum.org - Lean.org: Introduction to the 5 Whys
A clear explanation of how and why to use the 5 Whys technique for root cause analysis.
👉 https://www.lean.org/lexicon/5-whys - Agile Retrospective Resource Wiki
A large collection of retro formats, icebreakers, and facilitation techniques.
👉 https://retromat.org/en/
